Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Full Moon - Wednesday 28th of April

Full Moon – 28th of April
Destination: Wirikuta Desert. Wadley, Real Catorce, San Luis Potozi

The Desert winds of Wirikuta have been calling me. Like most on the Red Road it does. It even talks to backpackers and once in a while to tourists. What talks is not normally the sands, cactus, snakes, or even the Unesco village of Real Catorce, no its something called Abuelito. Grandfather Medicine. The Indians know it as Hikuri. Westerns believe it as a drug. Those who take it know it as medicine, a plant, Peyote. A medicine that opens the door up, your heart expands, and inner wisdom realizes. It teaches you more about yourself, who you are, your path, and about Mother Nature. It can send some with many lessons to learn on dark journeys across unknown, scary night desert land. It can as well do nothing; cause no effects to those who are not ready to take it. Or who are scared of it. Those who are ready for it, will journey. I was defiantly ready this time. I came to the desert for the Full moon. For a 3 day period around the full moon, where the earth energies are higher. It was a Beltane Full Moon as well. There were to be a lot of energy floating around. And I came with a friend, without a plan, only a thought that it would all come together and of course it did. On our way out into the desert, we met a small group from Guadalajara City and were invited to join them on a piece of land a friend owned. And thus our journey began as we climbed down on the roof of a jeep from Real into Estacion Catorce and later in the desert. The day we arrived, the day before the full moon I joined the others and immediately immersed myself into the desert, alone and in search of a small cactus that is constantly disappearing more and more (as more like me, and I like to think more who unconsciously use it, as I was consciously as possible consuming it go out and illegally harvest this hallgenic cactus). Along with my medicine bag in hand, drum, rattle and a bottle of water and the sun still somewhat high, I stumbled in different directions into the Corazon, heart of the desert. I sat down not so far away from our campsite and began my journey in Wirikuta with a ceremony towards Abuelito. I created a small fire, fuegata to ask the Desert for his Medicine to come towards me. I sang him chants and songs of Pacha Mama. Lit candles and sacrificed water, tobacco, flowers, cedar, and copal into the fire. And from there I began my real search of Hikuri. After an hour of anticipation, hunger for it, and nervousness about finally discovering it I was getting tired. I didn’t know if I was looking too hard or not enough. I had consumed it before, yet never harvested it myself. Thus was in general unsure of how it would play out. Finally a bird flew towards my direction. A humble, simple, divine creature and landed on top of a tall cactus tree (Joshua tree). I looked at it, acknowledged it, and read it as a sign in the vast empty desert land. I was to follow it. Yet it was still, and thus I was still and waited, patiently. Until it flew off in another direction. There was a wire fence in that direction that I wasn’t so eager to cross under or over and onto someone else’s land. Yet that is where the bird went and thus I decided to go on. Once under and over and a spin to clear off dirt and focus where I was, I was given Abuelito. He decided it was time. I listened to his totem, watched and heard the desert speak. And thus in return he gave me his gift, Wirikuta gave me Hikuri. My first peyote button. I was joyous. I took out my medicine bag and drum and started singing songs and sacrificing tobacco to the cactus as I cut it. I cleaned it there, as how I was taught, told. And slowly searched on and discovered more and more. Searching for families, so that I could take just one or two from them and leave some behind to continue to grow and flourish into the future. As the sun set I was in a hot spot that hadn’t been touched for a long time. More and more went into my medicine bag. Egos playing with me, saying take more, while my humility said that was enough. And finally as the sun had set, I journeyed back to our camp. Well, after I had eaten a few cloves off of one of the buttons. And at camp I finished cleaning, handling them with thankfulness and as the moon rose I hoped to begin my journey that night, yet had a strong feeling it was not time or place. Thus I went to bed with a headache yet lucid dreams all night.
The day of the full moon I woke up feeling that I needed to start journing. My plan was to journey 3 days, the highest power days, the full moon. Yet I didn’t feel right in the campground we were at or with my friend. I felt this needed to be an individual journey alone and more dissolute. Thus I walked from our campsite to a distant (still in view) tree where I decided there I was going to build a Rainbow Medicine Wheel. This was my second time building a sacred circle of meditation. The first was my first few weeks here in Mexico on the beach with my two sister Goddesses. Yet here I was to do it alone and quickly. I rushed thro the Ancient Native American tradition, speeding it up yet still putting love and energy into each rock I painted with different lessons and medicines. Around the tree I created a circle of 4 directions and there I was to sit and sleep, in the east, in Spirit. And that afternoon I began my own Vision Quest. One that I could carry out with my own rules and my own special place. I went out into the desert to journey and vision, with the help of medicine, yet without food, yet with water. And there I was for 2 days, fasting, eating peyote, and becoming one with the Earth. I journeyed two days, eating more than I should have (recommended to eat around 12 cloves or 2 buttons (button should have 8 cloves, yet some are misformed and some babies to grandfathers in size) and I thought that meant to journey well you should eat around 4 buttons. And that’s how it began, the second day with 5 buttons. Which equaled more like 30 to 40 cloves…And that’s how much the Huichol Indians eat, who have been doing it for decades) and thus my stomach refusing so much and vomiting it up. Yet the hole time I sunk deeper and deeper within. With in to the dirt, into the earth. I became one with the tree, flies, insects, dirt, desert. My skin changed color; I became camoploged with Pacha Mama. And I smiled and rested. Never leaving my Medicine Circle, for I thought a true peyote ceremony should be within, and in a sacred place and not lost out in the desert, roaming and encountering extra terrials or dark creatures. There I fasted, yet drank water and ate one after another. Becoming more and more disgusted with the flavor truthfully. And to be honest, my visions were not as expected. Yet when are they? Why have expectations… And thus my idea that the journey would be quit like Ayahuasca and the same in my dear relationship with her, I was quit misguided. For my idea of Peyote being Earthy and feminine I am told are wrong. Those go along with Ayahuasca and Peyote is Masculine and Airy. My teachings were less that I thought, my visions were not vibrant hullinations, yet subtle messages that I can see more clearly now. And with this 2 day journey I became more earthy and more one with our mama earth. More than I already was. I accepted the bugs and insects as brothers and sisters. I sank down into the heart of the desert, into Pacha Mama…
Yet my journey ended quit quickly late afternoon, the second day in (I was planning on coming back to earth from space that early evening) and I was woken up from my dreams as I lay flat face into the earth in my medicine circle, back to reality. A reality that I chose to ignore. I create my own bubble of reality within the reality of the rest of the world. The world of danger, of darkness, of a duality. My positive forest, nature girl outlook on life was being tested. A test to wake up to the darkness that exists as well. That there cant just be light, there must be darkness as well, a balance. A police man approached me, woke me up, startled me from slumber and in a daze I slowly became aware of the situation and tried to hid the last peyote button that I couldn’t finish in the mortar and pestle and cover it up with a scarf. He was quick; he was there for a reason. He didn’t see my medicine circle, he didn’t see my sacred fire in front of me, my crystals, my drum, my vision quest that I was on. He saw a gringo, he saw money and he saw the law that it was illegal to cut peyote. Thus the new journey, lesson began. He knew what I was there for and found the peyote in the mortar and found my hidden stash in a crevice of the tree I sat at. He entered my sacred circle without permission and brought an end to the sacred energies there. He woke me up from my visions and asked me questions. I lied, I stumbled, I lied, and in the end I told the truth. And they said I had to come with them. I was like ok; this is a new experience, jail for a few days. A lesson of Abuelito, interesting. Yet he said, years if I was lucky. My Spanish was off at the point; language didn’t exist where I was journing. After what felt like and hour of harassment towards our group, they left with a bribe from each of us. I gave them the rest of the money I had, it was a lot I felt. My friend gave them a bit, even though they found nothing on him, and our Mexican friends forgot to hide their tea… Thus our journeys turned and a lesson from Wirikuta. My fast ended when the cops left, and my journey lessened and the next day as the sun just began to rise we all left the cactus behind and back into a reality of what human kind has created and want all to believe is the unique and only one reality that exists and that is possible. Yet I know, even with abuelitos teachings, that my reality is possible. I can live in what I create and manifest, I can live apart, yet I do need to realize duality and the balance of darkness and light.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Gibbous Moon-Friday 23rd of April

Gibbous Moon – April 23rd
Destination: Huasteca Mountains

Four intense days of travel thro the Huasteca mountain range. A less traveled area, yet unfortunately was there for the weekend and thus hit Mexican high end tourism… Creating not the most beautiful experience, yet still worthwhile. I spent 4 days in green mountains and sacred water. Hot, hot days traveling to meet up with my German friend Mathias and visit the most popular sights. Leaving Mexico City I went to Xilitla, where I visited Las Pozas, El Castillo, James Edward Surrealist artist and architecture left an unfinished Labyrinth of a castle. Which was the most magical structure and place ive ever been and dreamt the hole time of living there in a community of Gods and Goddesses. From there I went to Aquisimon and met a group of young artists in the plaza and hung out with them for the day. That late afternoon we went up to Sotano de las Golondrinas to witness a magical work of nature and animals. A cave, a cavern the biggest and deepest in the world where thousands of birds, la golondrina and others fly into and return at sunset and fly out of to leave at sunrise everyday. There I witnessed this, as you may have on the documentary from BBC – Planet Earth (caves) that shows the birds and base jumpers entering into the cave. I met my friend here and stayed with a local family and the next morning went down to witness the sunrise spectular. Bit touristy but a real magic of nature. We hitched to La Morena and then to Tamul waterfall, where we went on a very touristy few km canoe ride to the biggest waterfall in Las Huatecas. Along with our boozing boat mates, we hitched with them to Ciudad Valles for dinner and then stayed with one of them in Tamasopo. It was a challenging day of contrasting energies and extremely different characters. The next morning we went and saw our last touristy waterfall and from there left the tourist scene to the barren desert.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

First Quarter Moon-Wednesday 21st of April

First Quarter Moon – April 21st
Destination: Xico, Xelapa Bus Station, DF (Mexico City)

Plans when on the road can change abruptly and rapidly and repeatedly when on the road. And with me it is common. Especially today, a day of constant change of plans and waiting to see if they would all play out as I thought they should and were meant to.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Cresent Moon-Monday 19th of April

Crescent Moon – April 19th
Destination: Xico

Alone along the River, left behind. I sit and ponder and learn of lessons by the river. Understand my emotions and how it feels to be excluded. To understand my past and growing as a child into the adult I am now. To understand what I am still going thro and learning and how to overcome it. Letting go of ego, giving into humility. I feel like a child, at this time, left out. I am still a child, who does feel left out in life when the ego wants to play. Poor me. Yet the river is constant, keeps flowing, the sound and rhythm never stopping. Siddhartha had many lessons by a river. I am learning by this river, right outside the doorsteps here in Xico. It is calming, soothing, and constant. Always here and always providing. I listen and learn River, thank you for your teachings. I will be back again soon.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

New Moon-Wednesday 14th of April

New Moon – April 14th
Destination : Xico, Vera Cruz

I up and changed my plans in a moment’s time. Leaving the Vision Quest I came back to Teresa’s farm in San Miguel for a night to talk with Teresa about the quest and see Mathias. Yet I had plans to meet Naima in Guanajauto, capital city of the state, less than 2 hours away. Thus I got there, checked my email to see where she was. And found out she changed her plans, our plans and was leaving tomorrow. And once I met with her, I decided that instant that I would too. It was a simple decision as I went with what felt naturally right. We hitched across Mexico to Vera Cruz in one long day of travel. We went to meet a friend of hers who works and travels with horses. Now we are here and our dreams are becoming reality. Two years ago I heard about a traveling horse caravan. Two years ahead I am in the presence. One-year time I might be part of it. Dreams are really happening. You can create anything in your life, manifest your reality and your dreams. This is an example, that I thought wasn’t ever a possible reality, yet now it’s more than reality. It is going to happen. Manifest what you want, it will come to you.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Balsamic Moon-Thursday 8th of March

Balsamic Moon : Thursday 8th of March

Vision Quest
The quest ended on Saturday the 10th. On Friday 4 Buscedores (Questers) came down from their 13 day Vision Quest. They were celebrated with crowns of flowers, flower paths, and another Medicine Cermony that night. This cermony was greater and much more powerful for me. The medicine worked stronger, as i was more ready. Truthfully i felt i was thrown into this Quest with so many rules that i had no idea of. It took me a week to learn what was going on and what i should and shouldnt do. As well to get to know the people and feel like they were family as they were always talking about. And as i came out of this incredible experience that had indeed changed my life, i still have alot of critisism about it all. And in end i have realized it is just not my place. I didnt understand that until leaving. I couldnt register why the Madrina and in general 'la familia' there were not connecting. And flatly it was that i felt no powerful energy coming from them. I didnt feel a sacred energy, a connection with them nor the land. I didnt feel at home as they were stating it was for everyone. I felt words were spoken and ideals stated, yet points missing. We were on sacred land and on sacred journies, yet it was filled with chain Malborou smokers, coca cola drinkers, and meat eaters. Was i the only one seeing the huge disconnection, the controdicition they were living. Talking to Spirit, yet consuming hurtful products to our Mama Earth. Companies and ideas that have ruled the world this last cycle and have been part of the destruction to the planet. I was within a community of souls on their paths, on the Red Road, but terribly misguided by society and daily life. Many Questers came to this Quest straight from Mexico City (one of the largest cities in the world) filled with mixtures of different energies that come with cities and immediatly, with a coke in hand ¨climbed the mountain¨(very contradtictory as they were literally only 10 minutes from our camp) and put themselve head on in this Vision Quest. What was their reason? Truth be told, it was the thing, the ¨fashion¨that is spreading thro Mexico. Vision Quest are becoming more and more common and more different walks of life are coming upon them. Which is great, yet are they ready with a coke in one hand and a greasy, meaty taco in the other? Are they here to become quickly enlightened? Did our ancestors use the Vision Quest in this way? NO! A quest is a sacred journey on your on, Alone, and you must go into Mother Nature and find a location that speaks to your Spirit, to your Heart; a power spot. And from there go on your own journey within, without food or water for 2 days. And as much as i enjoyed, learned, and basked in the beauty here, i couldnt help but feel disconnected. Disconnected from the land and the people. Yet these are my thoughts, my feelings, and i am thankful if this time really did give some clear vision to those who needed it. As for now, i will continue alone on my Red Road and when i am ready i will go on my own Vision Quest, at a power spot, and have visions for myself and Mother Earth

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Last Quarter Moon - Tuesday 6th of April

Last Quarter Moon : April 6th
Vision Quest

*Feeding the Fire lunch (when preparing lunch for everyone, a small plate of food was brought to the tipi and fed to the fire - feeding the Questers thro Spriit)
*Keeping the fire going constantly. It is the warmth of the Questers. Somebody always was in the tipi, maintaing and watching the fire for the hole 2 weeks
*Also each day making and changing a design in the fire. A design made by the coals. Such as an eagle, rainbow, 4 directions cross...
*Sunrise around 7am. We were woken up after 6:30am by a subtle beat of a drum and singing/chanting by someone each morning. And from there we met outside the tipi to sing to the four directions and the Questers on the Mountain (they could hear us, they were not that far away) We were sending them love and strenght 'fuerza'
*Sunset Salut as well to the four directions with Medicine songs, rattles, and drums
*Sacared herbs and medicines (tobacco, cedar, flowers...) were always in baskets around the fire in the lodge for offerings when entering or leaving
*Tobacco was smoked in corn husks and was sacred
*Logs on fire wer set in a criss cross pattern, repersenting an arrow towards the design made of coals, to the alter, and to the center of the tipi (where the Madrina always sat)
*Grandfather 'Abuelito' Fire
*Thanks was given to each meal we ate before hand and the food was made by all
*Community work was shared amongst all
*Tamascal (sweatlodges) were run once a day
*nightly cermonies (often yet not every night were run) ranging in just talking, planning, to a traditional Guatemalan baby shower where there was large cauldron/cast iron pot where coals and a vast variety of herbs, spice, and medicines were thrown into it and stirred up to celebrate the soon to be mama and cooking up her life
*Women had to wear skirts within the tipi and cermony area, while men had to wear pants

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Dissementing Moon - Saturday 3rd of April

Dissementing Moon - Saturday 3rd of April

Vision Quest - Rosa Grande - Outside Morelia in the mountains in the state of Michocan

A vision quest is a journey one takes atleast once in their life. Its a journey thro nature, into solitude, to be one with nature and the 4 legged brother and sisters of ours. Once there, you journey into medition for a set amount of time. Normally starting with 3 days. You create a sacred circle to stay within and fast. Drinking only water and staying put in place to recive visions from Great Spirit, Great Grandfather and Grandmother of Earth, Sky, Fire, and Water. Dreams, Animals, and Visions come to you, to give you messages of why you are here, what your road is in life. Some Quests are done to give back energy to Mama Earth. We take and take and we dont often give back, thus some are done for not personal growth, but growth as a whole, as one. Native American children at the turning of age often went out on their first quest. There they seeked their road from animal totems or spirits...

A long time ago the Busca de Vision was brought to Mexico and all around the world. Here in Mexico they have their tradtional sweat lodge, el tamascal and they use their medicine given to them from Mama Earth and the Wirikuta Desert. Hikuri, known by the Hiochol Indians helps visions during your quest manifest greater. This medicine, also known as Peyote is used in cermony and rituals and used by those ready to journey to another realm of awarness. Medicine helps manifest awarness and consciousness to those seeking it.

I was told about this Vision Quest about 10 days before today. I was told in vague what was going to be done there. It wasnt clear. Yet i decided to pray for the next 10 days that i would be able to attend. I knew i wasnt ready to climb the mountain, to go quest on my own. Or so i thought i wasnt. Yet i was able to participate as Apollo, Support to those questing. I had the opportunity to be a part of the small family seeking Mama Earth´s Messages. And thus i prayed that i could go. For it looked like i would not be able to in the beginning. My dear friend Teressa had plans to go and was going to take my other male companion along; not i. I had just been to a All women´s Santo Daime Cermony. Yet i prayed and in the end i went, while the other 2 stayed behind. I asked Mama Earth to go, and she gave it to me...she always gives doesnt she?

Thus i went with a friend of Teressa´s to go support his girlfriend. Tho i was already 7 days late... Tho it didnt matter, but this Quest was to go for 2 weeks. Where there would be first year Questers going up for 4 days, next you go up for 7 days, then onto 9 days, and finally finishing it with 13 days. (This is a 5 year process, 1st year there just to support) I arrrived just in time for a cermony, as the 1 week ¨Buscedores¨ Questers were comming down from the ¨Mountain¨. I arrived at night to an enourmous outline of a very familiar home, a tipi. Yet it was atleast 35 feet (mine at home just 16feet. I need to up grade:). In this lodge, the cermony took place. It was a medicine Hikurri Cermony. Here i journeyed for the first time with this medicine that Mama Earth gives to the desert. The cermony lasted all night. Till late morning and sleep didnt come till the following night. The cermony is hard to describe, but just picture a group of 50 people sitting around a fire in a huge tipi. Most had backrests, yet the spiral coninued inwards as their were so many people and they were unfortunate and had to sit up all night with no back support (as i did). The medicine immediatly began to be passed around, starting with the main Madrina - Medicine Women and spiraling out towards the other 4 Madrina's and then onto her their left to the buscedores (The people who just came down from the mountain) and around in a circle and spiraling within to the supporters. Mean while a rattle, sacred staff, and a man with a drum spiraled to each Spirit there, to sing a Medicine song and pass it on to the next. This process seemed to take hours and unfortuatly i cant describe it in detail anymore. Yet singing went on and on. The fire keeper kept to the sacred fire throughout the night. The medicine was passed around twice. And then there was the sacred tabacco that was passed imbetween elders who spoke alot. And before i knew it was dawn and the sun was rising. As the sun began to rise, we all went outside to sing to the four directions and sing to our brothers and sisters on the mountain. And afterwards we proceeded inside to finish the cermony with food. 3 large boat trays of meat, fruit, and corn were passed around in a spiral to everyone. I am leaving out so much detail here, yet there are too many words to describe everything and now i soley wish to hold everything in memory. When the cermony did end, after 10am, i went to do yoga and rest as i was exhausted and that afternoon there was a tamascal (sweat lodge) which filled me with an abundance of energy for the rest of the day that let me begin to meet people and start my week off at my first vision quest.