Full Moon - Wednesday 28th of April

Full Moon – 28th of April
Destination: Wirikuta Desert. Wadley, Real Catorce, San Luis Potozi

The Desert winds of Wirikuta have been calling me. Like most on the Red Road it does. It even talks to backpackers and once in a while to tourists. What talks is not normally the sands, cactus, snakes, or even the Unesco village of Real Catorce, no its something called Abuelito. Grandfather Medicine. The Indians know it as Hikuri. Westerns believe it as a drug. Those who take it know it as medicine, a plant, Peyote. A medicine that opens the door up, your heart expands, and inner wisdom realizes. It teaches you more about yourself, who you are, your path, and about Mother Nature. It can send some with many lessons to learn on dark journeys across unknown, scary night desert land. It can as well do nothing; cause no effects to those who are not ready to take it. Or who are scared of it. Those who are ready for it, will journey. I was defiantly ready this time. I came to the desert for the Full moon. For a 3 day period around the full moon, where the earth energies are higher. It was a Beltane Full Moon as well. There were to be a lot of energy floating around. And I came with a friend, without a plan, only a thought that it would all come together and of course it did. On our way out into the desert, we met a small group from Guadalajara City and were invited to join them on a piece of land a friend owned. And thus our journey began as we climbed down on the roof of a jeep from Real into Estacion Catorce and later in the desert. The day we arrived, the day before the full moon I joined the others and immediately immersed myself into the desert, alone and in search of a small cactus that is constantly disappearing more and more (as more like me, and I like to think more who unconsciously use it, as I was consciously as possible consuming it go out and illegally harvest this hallgenic cactus). Along with my medicine bag in hand, drum, rattle and a bottle of water and the sun still somewhat high, I stumbled in different directions into the Corazon, heart of the desert. I sat down not so far away from our campsite and began my journey in Wirikuta with a ceremony towards Abuelito. I created a small fire, fuegata to ask the Desert for his Medicine to come towards me. I sang him chants and songs of Pacha Mama. Lit candles and sacrificed water, tobacco, flowers, cedar, and copal into the fire. And from there I began my real search of Hikuri. After an hour of anticipation, hunger for it, and nervousness about finally discovering it I was getting tired. I didn’t know if I was looking too hard or not enough. I had consumed it before, yet never harvested it myself. Thus was in general unsure of how it would play out. Finally a bird flew towards my direction. A humble, simple, divine creature and landed on top of a tall cactus tree (Joshua tree). I looked at it, acknowledged it, and read it as a sign in the vast empty desert land. I was to follow it. Yet it was still, and thus I was still and waited, patiently. Until it flew off in another direction. There was a wire fence in that direction that I wasn’t so eager to cross under or over and onto someone else’s land. Yet that is where the bird went and thus I decided to go on. Once under and over and a spin to clear off dirt and focus where I was, I was given Abuelito. He decided it was time. I listened to his totem, watched and heard the desert speak. And thus in return he gave me his gift, Wirikuta gave me Hikuri. My first peyote button. I was joyous. I took out my medicine bag and drum and started singing songs and sacrificing tobacco to the cactus as I cut it. I cleaned it there, as how I was taught, told. And slowly searched on and discovered more and more. Searching for families, so that I could take just one or two from them and leave some behind to continue to grow and flourish into the future. As the sun set I was in a hot spot that hadn’t been touched for a long time. More and more went into my medicine bag. Egos playing with me, saying take more, while my humility said that was enough. And finally as the sun had set, I journeyed back to our camp. Well, after I had eaten a few cloves off of one of the buttons. And at camp I finished cleaning, handling them with thankfulness and as the moon rose I hoped to begin my journey that night, yet had a strong feeling it was not time or place. Thus I went to bed with a headache yet lucid dreams all night.
The day of the full moon I woke up feeling that I needed to start journing. My plan was to journey 3 days, the highest power days, the full moon. Yet I didn’t feel right in the campground we were at or with my friend. I felt this needed to be an individual journey alone and more dissolute. Thus I walked from our campsite to a distant (still in view) tree where I decided there I was going to build a Rainbow Medicine Wheel. This was my second time building a sacred circle of meditation. The first was my first few weeks here in Mexico on the beach with my two sister Goddesses. Yet here I was to do it alone and quickly. I rushed thro the Ancient Native American tradition, speeding it up yet still putting love and energy into each rock I painted with different lessons and medicines. Around the tree I created a circle of 4 directions and there I was to sit and sleep, in the east, in Spirit. And that afternoon I began my own Vision Quest. One that I could carry out with my own rules and my own special place. I went out into the desert to journey and vision, with the help of medicine, yet without food, yet with water. And there I was for 2 days, fasting, eating peyote, and becoming one with the Earth. I journeyed two days, eating more than I should have (recommended to eat around 12 cloves or 2 buttons (button should have 8 cloves, yet some are misformed and some babies to grandfathers in size) and I thought that meant to journey well you should eat around 4 buttons. And that’s how it began, the second day with 5 buttons. Which equaled more like 30 to 40 cloves…And that’s how much the Huichol Indians eat, who have been doing it for decades) and thus my stomach refusing so much and vomiting it up. Yet the hole time I sunk deeper and deeper within. With in to the dirt, into the earth. I became one with the tree, flies, insects, dirt, desert. My skin changed color; I became camoploged with Pacha Mama. And I smiled and rested. Never leaving my Medicine Circle, for I thought a true peyote ceremony should be within, and in a sacred place and not lost out in the desert, roaming and encountering extra terrials or dark creatures. There I fasted, yet drank water and ate one after another. Becoming more and more disgusted with the flavor truthfully. And to be honest, my visions were not as expected. Yet when are they? Why have expectations… And thus my idea that the journey would be quit like Ayahuasca and the same in my dear relationship with her, I was quit misguided. For my idea of Peyote being Earthy and feminine I am told are wrong. Those go along with Ayahuasca and Peyote is Masculine and Airy. My teachings were less that I thought, my visions were not vibrant hullinations, yet subtle messages that I can see more clearly now. And with this 2 day journey I became more earthy and more one with our mama earth. More than I already was. I accepted the bugs and insects as brothers and sisters. I sank down into the heart of the desert, into Pacha Mama…
Yet my journey ended quit quickly late afternoon, the second day in (I was planning on coming back to earth from space that early evening) and I was woken up from my dreams as I lay flat face into the earth in my medicine circle, back to reality. A reality that I chose to ignore. I create my own bubble of reality within the reality of the rest of the world. The world of danger, of darkness, of a duality. My positive forest, nature girl outlook on life was being tested. A test to wake up to the darkness that exists as well. That there cant just be light, there must be darkness as well, a balance. A police man approached me, woke me up, startled me from slumber and in a daze I slowly became aware of the situation and tried to hid the last peyote button that I couldn’t finish in the mortar and pestle and cover it up with a scarf. He was quick; he was there for a reason. He didn’t see my medicine circle, he didn’t see my sacred fire in front of me, my crystals, my drum, my vision quest that I was on. He saw a gringo, he saw money and he saw the law that it was illegal to cut peyote. Thus the new journey, lesson began. He knew what I was there for and found the peyote in the mortar and found my hidden stash in a crevice of the tree I sat at. He entered my sacred circle without permission and brought an end to the sacred energies there. He woke me up from my visions and asked me questions. I lied, I stumbled, I lied, and in the end I told the truth. And they said I had to come with them. I was like ok; this is a new experience, jail for a few days. A lesson of Abuelito, interesting. Yet he said, years if I was lucky. My Spanish was off at the point; language didn’t exist where I was journing. After what felt like and hour of harassment towards our group, they left with a bribe from each of us. I gave them the rest of the money I had, it was a lot I felt. My friend gave them a bit, even though they found nothing on him, and our Mexican friends forgot to hide their tea… Thus our journeys turned and a lesson from Wirikuta. My fast ended when the cops left, and my journey lessened and the next day as the sun just began to rise we all left the cactus behind and back into a reality of what human kind has created and want all to believe is the unique and only one reality that exists and that is possible. Yet I know, even with abuelitos teachings, that my reality is possible. I can live in what I create and manifest, I can live apart, yet I do need to realize duality and the balance of darkness and light.

Full Moon - Monday 29th of March

Full Moon - Monday 29th

Santa Daime all Women Cermony with Tamsacal

You fight enternally within yourself wiht who you think you are and who you are. With body and Spirit. It is a constant struggle to the end if you cant except yourself. The Daime was strong...

And it led me in and out of an eternal battle all night. A haze of confusion, not sure what it was. It was constantly being over ridden with positivity. Laughter, i was smiling all night. I am Positive Light! No matter what Spirit knocks at my door, i beam of light. Thro out the night, as my experience just kept intensifing, my personal reality was teasing me. Daime, Ayuawaska is haulligenic. And i was defintaly seeing things. Things that you dont see in the physical body realm, only in spirit realm. My fantasy world was comming alive. Interestly tho, it was a dark fantasy world, filled with dark beings, yet i just observed and laughed at them. They were not taking a ride inside my physical body. I have control of my own journey. I have the power in my thoughts, in manifestation. I already know this and the Daime was just confirming it. I tried to make a lemon roll across the floor to me, yet it didnt work. I am confused why not. If i am a powerful Spirit of manifestation, why couldnt Spirit guide the physical lemon to the physical body? That is what i am working on, manifestation and the power of thought. I am not sure the answer, i suppose i just need to walk with Ayahuasca more to understand...

I asked from the journey ahead of time if my 7 Spirit Guides or any Animal Totems would come visit me. I believe i have control of the journey, yet i suppose i need more experience. I had confusing visions of wild animals and wild men. I felt as if i were them. And they were me. At one point i had fur all over my body and i wanted to scream out in growls and fearse animalistic sounds and behaviors. Was i a bear? Hermana Osa. Or am i a bear? Or just confused. A mix of all...

The whole roof vibrated in energy and was a ocean of waves and movement. It was beautiful. And the sky outside! That was just beyond words. The clouds were vibrant colors and jumping out of the sky with Sister Moon, Luna Llena (Full Moon) glowing bright and sending waves of florecent energy down to Mama Earth and healing all her creatures.

Ayahuasca gives you visual, intesifed eyes that see everything in a more beautiful state. More vibrant of color, shape, and form. It is as if it is so that each object projects out its own energy. This is how all life works and this is what Daime can teach you. To be able to see all creations filled with energy. An older women the next morning, a first timer was lost. Lost in the experience and was very confused. Bad energy and spirits clinging to her. I tried to talk to her, help her thro it. Talking can help, it did for me my first time. What she was having a hard time dealing with was the intensity of all life that she was seeing for the first time. The vibrant colors and energy. The colorful visions, that were appearing, that are just one, with all life. She wanted to know if it would stop...She was confused and what i have already learned and knew is that the feeling of all creations filled with energy and light is the ideal state to live and one hopes will never go away. Why would you want it to? Just because it is unknown. Yet couldnt she feel that power that came along with it? The power of knowing that the world is compleat beauty. Didnt she want to keep it forever? I do and i am learning to as i walk with Daime in life.

More experiences, moments, hours, nights, weeks are filled with the power of life, the beauty of Great Mystery. Positive vibrations and love are within me, making me a travelling ball of light. My journey in Mexico is beautiful and words can not describe it no more. I am walking the Red Road. El camino rojo.

New Moon - Monday 15th March

New Moon - Monday 15th of March

Ac Tah- Mayan Descendent presents weekend conference on Mayan Beliefs and the coming of 2012!
I spent this past weekend participating in a conference talking about Mayan Prophecies. And dancing to the beat of the Earth´s Belly. Native American Drums and Dance, waking up our Spirit!

Waking up awareness and consciousness of our Mother Earth. Of her crying out in pain as we humans continue to harm her. Our Brother and Sister 4 legged still remember, are still aware. Why is it just us 2 legged, who think we are the rulers of the world can not remember? We can’t hear her crying? I cry as i see more concrete skyscrapers going up, forests of wise tree´s being torn down, and as the Earth trembles in quakes and kills millions. Why? Why cannot we wake up, listen to our hearts. Walk again one with spirit. Listen to our ancestors. Remember why we are here...

The world is about to change. We are at the end of the 4th cycle and are coming to the 5th. At every turn of cycle, the Earth quakes, speaks us to remember. Darkness will come. Darkness has come. Don’t you remember New York City over 5 years ago? Darkness. It will come again. And quakes will keep continuing as we sleep in unawareness of our Earth Mother. On the Winter Solstice of 2012 the planets will align with one another. Earth as the center point will be surrounded in the four directions by her neighbors. By Mars, Venus, Mercury, and Jupiter. The Moon and Sun will be above and below us. The intergalactic spaces are aligning. They will bring change. The Ying and Yang will shift. We have been in a Yang of Masculinity for this past cycle. We are about to shift into a balance. An equality of one gender, of one race. We are coming to a new age. We humans will decide where to take it. To let the shift pull into negativity or into positivity. We have the power within us all to do anything. If only we would all wake up! Walk with spirit, realize we are one. We have power to stop earthquakes and tsunami´s. We have the power of the world if we come together in harmony.

I am walking the Red Road

New Moon - I have arrived to a new Eco farm outside San Miguel de Allende. It’s a Beautiful single Women living in a small community of Permaculture living. There is no electricity, nor running water. They are living off the land, in the desert. Cacti surround me.

Fast forward, to the evening of the New Moon.
Again Cactus surrounds me...



Psychedelic, geometric triangles, circles, shapes, dimensions...
Light, a Teepee… A circle of brother and sisters around a fire, of RED. of LIGHT and DARK. Ying and Yang. Energies... A group of friends, who let me into their circle; which I am so thankful for, and there, in the tipi, within our mother´s womb, we drank medicine. We consumed ayahuasca in a legal Santa Daime Ceremony/Ritual. Madrina, Shaman, Medicine Women- Maria Terresa led it. There were 9 of us, gathered around a fire. We started off with one shot of Ayahuasca each. Mine was to be smaller as I wasn’t really part of the group, yet so thankful to be part of it this time. Next lead to Hale Mary´s and Fathers...Santa Daime is a Catholic Religion base/mix with our Earth Mother. This time it didn’t matter tho. I had finally been able to let go and it wasn´t important of religion. As all religions are the same, even as they differ, in the end they send the same message. As we began to sing in Portuguese about the Lord, my past judgments had vanished. I was singing about Love. Tho it helped I didn’t understand the lyrics when singing of sin. Overall i was thankful to be present and as well be around a fire, in a tipi again. Very quickly people began to feel the medicine running thro their bodies, some overtaking their physical bodies. The medicine was powerful this time. The eldest there, in his eighties i believe was the first to run from Spirit.
It continued, the two other men started to enter other space, another reality from what we believe we live in now. They had entered into their Spirit, yet were being tested and losing. They were losing control of their own Spirit and letting their own demons come in.
I was able to see the energy of the spirits. But more so, i felt them possessing my companions. You could see it, eye to eye, straight up fact, a reality whether you are taking medicine or not. These 2 men had their eyes rolled to the back of their heads and were talking to themselves. They were moving hands up and down, in conversation. They were fighting off the Dark verses Light. Negative verses Positive forces. One man was doing hand movements, which he later said he was shooting light beams out of his finger tips. He was fighting with light energy. He was fighting hard. He was cleansing his aura. Fighting his inner demons...
Yet this leads me to question - Are Spirits with us all the time?
Yes they are. Daime (ayahuasca) opens ones chakras, opens our souls, to become just Spirit. It teaches us to leave behind the body and be amongst other Spirits. And you chose whether they are good or bad ones. You can walk with your demons or be one with your 7 Spirit Guides. Thus it must be Spirits are with us all the time. We are fighting them to not control us. To not be in the Negativity of life. Are all spirits just inner demons, i wonder? Or are there bad energies, bad spirits walking earth among us? Do there exist more spirits than just our own? Are we only in touch with our own spirit guides or demons? I saw this man fighting a demon, one within himself. But the others in our circle, talked of seeing spirits. Light and Dark beings. This means when we become negative, mad, angry, sad, Spirits are able to enter us more easily and create more negative vibrations. Expanding one negative thought too many. This is why we must focus on light, on positivity. So spirits will guide us not deeper into negative vibrations, but more so into light. Into positive beings. Light Beings. To become one with Spirit all the time.
Spirits can guide us or manipulate us, we are the deciding factor on how we control our beings.

There were demons all around us, trying to possess us. One by one, circling and trying to enter into each of our bodies. I did not see the spirits. I was not there, in their space. Only laughter and happiness embodied me. I was keeping my space of enlightenment and joy. I was pure Light. Radiating Positive Energy from my Spirit. Drinking this medicine, i saw things. But more so, i felt things. I felt energy, i felt spirits, i understood all. This medicine opens us up to who we are potentially able to become. Nirvana talks about leaving the body, of becoming pure light and energy. Of becoming pure Spirit, and this is what we were for those short hours in the tipi. We were leaving behind bodies and becoming one. Many of the groups were fighting inner demons and they were fighting hard. Yet a few of us women were radiating pure light. Two men were possessed, 2 girls were being visited by spirits, laughing at them, inner demons telling them they weren’t good enough. Yet we were all Spirits, unaware of bodies, among dozens of more spirits. Visiting us, guiding us, some trying to take advantage of us. Tho I was just a body of light, my light (positive) energy cascading onto the others, my brother and sisters. They thanked me the next day. I was aware of my light, energy and hoped it was spreading out to the others as I focused on this. Focusing on keeping light all around my soul and aura. Holding the energy of the group. Sometimes i looked away, onto the others fighting, unable to not stare at those being possessed.
I couldn´t feel myself. My body. It didn’t exist. It was attached, but for an unclear reason. What was below my head was unclear. Arms, feet, stomach...what are they? Where were they? It was so difficult to focus, to understand that my feet were touching the ground, solid as a rock. Yet I wasn’t. Hovering, gliding, soaring... I was not quit grounded on Mother Earth, on Pacha Mama at all. Perhaps my body was, but it didn’t belong to me anymore. For it´s just a physical form and I wasn’t. I was disconnected from my body, forgot my face, name, who I quit was, for I was just there, in the now as Spirit. My Spirit guiding each step. I was one with all existence, for I was nothing but one particle in the air. Connected to my billions of brother and sisters. All Spirits, forgotten. For our bodies and minds control nearly all life. We have forgotten, we are unaware of how to become one and float with our Spirits. Let them guide us.

Ayahuasca is Medicine. Some may believe it’s a drug, and it is to those who believe this. To those who take it as Medicine, it cures you. Helps fight within... Giving lessons on how to walk more with your Spirit and less with your physical body. Daime teaches you how to be just Spirit. That is all you are. Yet you can learn to walk slowly with each step on your own, towards light everyday. Just being Consciousness is the first step. Are you ready to jump?

You may think I am talking of an illusion. Yet it was reality. I was in this farce. I was. And I was laughing thro out the possessions, thro out the journey on medicine. Nothing is what you think it is... Reality is what you make it!



¨All Creations are a part of Great Mystery´s whole, just as every cell in the human body has different function and yet together those cells make up a carbon combustion unit that houses a Spirit with a unique identity. All human ideas are birthed from the Spirit inside the human body, are fed to the brain, and then acted upon through the will of total being. All ideas in Creation come from the Great Mystery, are gathered by Great Spirit, and then are used to feed the rest of Creation. To limit the power of Creation in ourselves or others is a human concept. If we acknowledge the limitlessness of Great Mystery, we must acknowledge that this life-force is also a part of our makeup because we are created by that same Original Source.¨