I am Worthy

I sat quietly listening to the words over the receiver reach this end. Words being spoken thousands of miles away from me as i sat in my home in the Great White North. These words were a meditation that were being led from a women who knew how to facilitate and guide these sort of things quit well. I sat in silence, trying to go to that inner place. Yet rather quickly i forgot what was happening and was off in my own head trip...

Oh right, Let me clarify that i dont usually, well never, do i meditate. I have never found it my source to healing or my path to clarity, it is simply that. Well that is thro the form of meditation that most people know; that a Yoga Instructor will take you thro...

Yet recently i was taken thro a mediation into the Sweat Lodge. I was taken back to the Heart of the Earth. And that place i know very well.

I have sat hundreds of times upon our mother in the darkness, sweating out all the physical and spiritual toxins. I have sat in prayer in the womb of our Mother, looking upon those glowing grandfathers, upon those rocks that have been soaking up the heat in the fire for the past few hours. I have handled those grandfathers, i have brought them into the lodge with those deer antlers, and my hands and antlers have become one. Neither were separate. From then on it was clear i was in my element and walking in my medicine.  

I know that place, that darkness. It is one of my favorite places on earth. A place of rebirth. A rebirth that can happen every time you enter into that willow structure upon your knees, bending your forehead down to the earth to kiss our mother and speak, To all my Relations. 

That place is my way home. It is my sort of meditation and my divine source to healing.

 My road walks down this Red Road and into that Inipi, for one day i will be pouring the water over our Grandfathers. I will be leading that healing for All People and finding myself in the position of a Teacher, of an Elder, and wise women. 

But I am not there yet....OOOOHHH NO!

I am still a baby searching for it's way. I only did come upon this road not too long ago.  The Red Road is new to me, yet at the same time is is what i have always known. I have sought it for the first 22 years of my life without direction. I have been here before that time, before birth. I have walked down this road many lives... Yet in this life i am still a newbie. The traditions are known and very familiar, yet this life i have chosen to overcome many obstacles within my heart to get there....

 Now i sit here, remembering my destiny and what i planned to do upon this Earth before physically being born. I sit here knowing my Earth Walk. 

Not in detail, but i know that outline. And thus being in a world where most people of today have not woken up to their higher plans and to God, perhaps i am more ready than i think...

Yet to be honest with myself. I have known what i am to do for a while now. Back to that first very real Sweatlodge i entered over 4 years ago, i sat in a silence. I sat in a place of remembrance.

That first door and round of purification i sat purifying my physical body and sweating out all the toxins and chemicals i take in today in our unhealthy world. I sat thro that second door, purifying my Emotions and setting my Heart out in front of me. That third round came around and i was still strong and wasn't moving. I took in my Spiritual tasks for this life. That last, fourth round was of rejoice and glory as my heartbeat connected with our Mother Earths and for a moment in time we were ONE...

And there i was reborn inside the womb of our mother. 

Life moved incredibly fast from there out and the Red Road became my Road. My walk became one of ceremony and i moved from one ceremony to the next. Absorbing the teachings as i watched and preserved every moment in time. 

Yet back to this physical moment, this meditation. This imagery of entering into the Inipi and Purifying. 

Well i guess what has come up is a HUGE KABAM!!!!! in knowing what i need and have been purifying most in my life. Clarity on what i need to be doing. 

It i no surprise, it has been my work ever since i woke up in that first Sweat, was Reborn, and regained memory of who i am to become. 

I know who i am, i know who i am to be, so what is holding me back.... What is stopping these feet from jumping off the edge and into the arms of Creator God?

I suppose it is simple... It is FEAR. 

There are moments it scares me... the knowing of what i am too do. And now i understand this is because for me, it feels so so BIG. A big walk that is dedicated to Healing to our Mother Earth.

It would be so much more simple to forget about it, go hide in the world that consumes most people today. Run up that ladder towards success, live in the city, get married and find security, make babies... Oh that would be easy!  I could do that at any moment if i wanted too. <<<>>People around me sure seem so... 

Yet deep in my heart i know i could never be... I cant turn my back on Creator and let the People down. I have a big mission to accomplish this life time. And i have just realized a big part of that is feeling Worthy Enough to do it. 

Feeling worthy in knowing that i was chosen by God as one of his children. That i am a child of Light and Love. Not just knowing, but feeling the Power of Love from all Man Kind. 

I have been constantly back tracking by making up excuses to God that i am not ready to do this work. Do the work for the people.... I havent wanted to be one of his awoken children who are working in their higher purpose....

Wait, what did i just say? I didnt want that.....why is that True? How can i write those words, yet be walking this walk and praying the opposite? 

Finally clarity is coming.... This is a good day!  I have been being held down by so much fear that i was not worthy enough to walk down this path as a healer...

Why is this? Why do i feel such high regard for healers? Why do i hold them higher than others?

The word healer makes me feel like it is associated to someone special. Perhaps someone that is favored by God. Curendera or Medicine Women seem as if that God granted a gift to those women and it is only passed on thro generations of Indigenous Blood. Thus there i go and eliminate my possibility... And Shaman is the extreme of all and is a rare gift from God. Only those who have been woken up for consecutive life times are chosen to do this work as they are the enlightened ones.

Deep in my heart i know i am all those. 

I am holding the healer in high regard for it is my most far stretching dream i could possibly desire. My daydreams are full of this Medicine Path. I walk this path in my full Vision.

Yet i still am simply walking in envy of those who are ready to do that work.... for i have felt so small my whole life. I never have felt that i could be worthy of doing healing work for the people. And that is simply because i will only be ready to do work; heal, once i have healed my own heart from these sorrows of insignificance. 

I can understand now dreams are not little nor big. People are little or big. And what makes them that way is how they perceive themselves. It depends all on the beholder and how they feel about themselves. It depends on how we see ourselves. For Creator God see's us all as equal and all thro the Eyes of a Loving Father. God created each of his children with LOVE.

I can see that we humans all have the ability to bring healing into the world. We all hold and walk our Medicine. Thus no one is better or bigger than others. 

 For me, for the longest time  i have seen before me a big mission i have ahead of me, for i have always felt not ready to do it.  I know what i am to do, yet it scares me that i am not big enough to do it.  

I woke up to my destiny and now must acknowledge it by facing all FEARS. Face Truth and  follow my walk. It comes down to being big, because i feel so small.. I feel so so small and it hurts inside my heart. 

The women in my family have been passing down from generation to the next the same SMALLNESS. We now carry it in our heritage and  in our blood. We are small in the face of God in our eyes. We are unworthy in Love. We feel ugly, we don't know self beauty of our bodies or spirits. 

I can feel that my mother, her sisters, our grandmother, our great grandmother felt an insignificant within themselves as well. In doing so passing in onto today to Myself, my Sister, and my Cousins.

I danced last Summer in the harbor, dancing to my commitment with Creator for all my family. During my dance a sudden word came to me... A word that still brings an overwhelming sense of sadness, smallness, and fear. A simple word...

Worthy.

To be worthy. I am Worthy and i am Loved.

I can see that it is just not i cowering in fear in the darkness anymore... This strange and deep seeded Root of Smallness has been following the women in my family like a lingering dark shadow. It is a hunger trying to consume us into the depths of fear and sorrow.

Yet i am ready to be no more part of it. I am ready to let it all go, find Worthiness and Beauty in myself and know that i am special. I am cutting this heavy chain from my ancestral line with an obsidian blade. An obsidian knife for that is what i carry being Tijax and the Healer within the family. This stops with me!

I am a divine Creation of God. I am Light. I am Beautiful. I am ready to become a teacher and to shed all pain and sufferings back to the Earth and fully embrace the Medicine Women that i am. 

I am in the stage of Transformation. I am preparing myself for what is coming and all the teachings that are going to be suddenly coming my way once i finally surrender to my Destiny and let go of all fear. 

Let go of being small and hiding for all my generations to come, so that we women of my lineage now and in the future can walk Big in our Medicine, Big in our Power, and carry Big Prayers. 

I am not ready to just heal all aspects of my life, i am here purifying the path for the generations to come. 

With each person that heals themselves, the world heals. 

I am Loved. I am Worthy. I am Beautiful.

Here i stand before the Eyes of God and acknowledge my Earth Walk and my Destiny. My Dreams and my Vision soon shall be a reality, for i am overcoming and crossing the river of shadows to the other side full of Light. 

I stand before the sweat lodge, now truly ready to be called in by the Grandmothers. Once inside sitting among them with my heart radiating with Confidence and Worthiness, there i shall find the path to my teachings begin.  

Grandmother, Let us begin our Teachings.

---- You are Loved ----

Waking Up

Good Evening Relatives

Most of you dont know me. I most defiantly am standing outside of my territory here. Standing before you and talking to all your lovely faces. I sit here amongst you today, daydreaming...
 Daydreaming upon you over there being my auntie, He my brother, and up there my grandmother. I daydream of making you my relatives.
Those are big words i know... Yet i pray to finally find my people and my home. Of my long, long search all over the Earth, coming to a slow end, as i finally find my Nation and My People. 

I was born in Northern California, in the Redwoods. I was born among the Tree Nation and know and understand the Medicine from the Standing Ones, from our Ancestors. I know the Earth. I know the Water, the rains that abound my home land... I feel divinely connected to my physical Birthplace. To the Mountains and Green Earth Mother that surrounds me. Yet up there i stand alone. I stand within a family that loves me, that cherishes me, yet i still seek more... More of a  connection to the People, to a Community, a Family, One Nation... 

When i look in the mirror, i am shocked to see a White Women standing before me. I see that White skin and think, how could that be me? I dont feel white. I dont feel like i belong to this Nation. I see myself as a young, beautiful dark skinned, dark hair Indian Women. A Red Women.

Yet deep within my heart i know we are all One Nation..... Yet most people dont remember this. We still judge each other for the color of our skin....Many will enter into that tipi and see it full of white people and leave. I too, still separate the colors. Yet here i walk this Red Road, but am being constantly judged as i have pale white skin. 

I know who i am....
My heart strongly holds this knowledge. This wisdom the Ancestors bring me Sing loud and clear. I know my Song.  I am a craftswomen who works that way with her hands. Who brings healing to the people. The best way that i know how. Using the Plant Nation, the Stone Nation, the 4 Legged Nation, and the Winged Nation in healing. Bringing forth their medicines to teach the people. Remind us who we are...Yet my heart cowers in the corner questioning Creator if i am Worthy? Worthy of such medicine....

How can a white women know the old ways and teach of the traditions?
Why am i worthy from all other 2 Legged that walk this Earth, to be gifted as a healer?

I am yet just another human with so much mixed blood in her that i have no distinct connection to the land or Earth. I feel i am no race and thus can not find my tribe, my people, and my way home...

I have been searching across Mother Earth since i could pick up and travel on my own. I  have searched continents, glimpsing in on religions and cultures that are far more different than i ever would know. Not was it till i opened up my Heart in South East Asia did i hear Mother Earth Speak to me. They were not human words. They were not audible. I finally had heard Mother Earth's Heart Beat and it connected with my own beat. Our hearts were beating together, as one, and i understood as we spoke to one another and she told me "Go Home. Go Home to your Land and your People." 

Yet i felt i still didnt know where home was and what could possibly be waiting for me, as i had spent searching the first 16 years of my life for that Connection. Yet i knew in my Heart that i must return to my land. And there i did. Back to Turtle Island and to my People.
 Connecting with the land at home finally brought me back to the Earth. I traced back to my one traceable Indigenous relative. A Mission Indian as her entire culture was ripped from her. She has no traceable roots. Only a name and birth place. Thus i have taken that name into my Heart. 

- Juana Montijo - 

Her home was in the land of the Chumash people and thus i have taken the Chumash into my Heart as well. And with this distant Great Great Grandmother i sing my songs of the Earth to her and ask for guidance. I pray to her and my Ancestors to strengthen my connection with the Earth. To teach me the ways of my distant relatives, of my long lost people. I ask for connection to Creator God, connection to a nation, tribe, a community, to people from the Heart of the Earth.

I have seen the older me. I have had a glimpse into my future. I  look into the Obsidian Mirror and see myself as a reflection, as a Grandmother...
That wise women, that elder that is within us all. I see that chubby women with long, graying hair that is full of starlight caressing each strand. She is being cradled by Mother Earth. Surrounded by wildlife and all that is our Mother. The Earth knows me, she is within me, and we are all one. That women in that open field just beyond the edge of the forests and growth of the Standing Ones is hunched down, leaning over and harvesting wild herbs. With Rushing water nearby, wild wolves out in the distance cry as the full moon rises. That women wears a bear hide over her shoulder and carries and walks with that Bear Medicine. She seeks the medicine of the 4 legged and has worked with it since youth. She teaches of Introspection, of going within, and entering that cave of solitude. That beautiful women, that grandmother is me. I am her. I feel her within my blood. She is a medicine women. She is collecting wild herbs to craft medicine for healing the people. She has been walking towards that field of wild herbs all her life. Walking towards becoming that women, Caring Medicine and Healing for all her relations. 

As i walk in this journey of self discovery; of finding Worthiness and Self love in my Heart, finding acceptance of my color skin, i finally come to a place of Wisdom.
 I sit up with the Ancestors inside the Dreamlodge and know that i am Loved. That my work here on Mother Earth is to find Self Love and healing, so that i can prepare as i slowly walk into the shoes of a Grandmother and as a Teacher. 
I have much ahead of me. Many elders stand before me and our paths will cross. I will continue to be judged. Yet there i find Self Exceptance in who i Am.
 I continue walking past those Dark Spirits and then i can confront my own Image. The Darker side of me that is full of Fear, of Sorrow, of Ego. And i know now that i am very close to being ready to Embrace that Shadow with Love. And let her go. Become one image that is full of Light. 
From here i can walk with the wolves that have been following me in the distance all my life. Become that Teacher and help others embrace their Shadows. 

At this moment i am realizing i am worthy of carrying this medicine. 

For all 2 Legged on this Earth have Medicine that they carry. Bundles that we hold. Medicine that we teach. Medicine that speaks of who we are. Our Earthwalks... 
And thus, we all are in our own rights Medicine Women and Men. Eventually i pray we all will seek healing for ourselves and All Our People and find our way back home.

To All of my Relations.

Remembering our Earth Walk

Wake up.... Wake up....

WWWWAAAAKKKKEEEE UUUUPPPP!!!!

I say wake up brothers and sisters.

It is time to wake up and face the truth behind reality...

Aren't you ready to face the real world today?

No i am not talking about the Real World that adults tell their childdren that they must come to know one day. Not a world of higher education, careers, success, money, marriage, ownership of property, buying your own house, 2 cars out in the driveway.... NOOOO.... 

Not a house full of material goods, dinner being the only hour you get with your family, stuck in traffic hours everyday, being in an office all day and missing all sunlight, city gardens of pavement and concrete....

NOOOO....

Dont you Remember? 

Oh right most of us dont anymore... We forget it once we hit an adolescence age where we are so easily influenced by our parents and world we see today...

We forget why we have come to this Earth and what we are to do.

Now do you Remember?

Do you get at what i am talking about. 

Remember!!!! Your Destiny.

---- Our Earthwalks ----

Yes each wee humble human being carries a destiny and walks a certain path. We have written out our own lives before we are even born. We create the outline of the challenges we decide we must face to overcome and transcend onto another level of human consciousness. 

As newborns and infants we humans are still connected with Creator. We still know our Divine Plan. Yet with time and human life influences this "plan or walk" is forgotten or pushed to the smallest corner in your Heart. There it sits until we are ready to kneal upon Mother Earth, kiss and touch the Earth, and ask Creator for Guidance. Pray for clarity and vision to your Earthwalk and who you are.

When we are just little one's we forget our Dreams and are influenced by the Dreams of the Minds current state of the World. We decide our dream is to be a firefighter, a rock star, or an Artist. Later it can become a doctor, a lawyer, or  Teacher. What we assume is that our dream must be within a profession. That our dreams must be reasonable and help us make a living. Yet doesn't that confine us a bit to what we humans are capable of doing? 

What of those passions that bring us utter happiness and complete connection with the Divine, yet do not give us a way to sustain our lives? 

We 2 legged have forgotten our purpose in the chaos of the world's hunger game of survival. We have forgotten that everything we possibly need to survive is given to us by our Mother and that the Earth will always take care of her Children, as long as we do the same for her. Yet being so disconnected we have no sense of how to return to her and thus feel that we must meet the standards of this Modern World we live in and live up to what the "Machine" reads. 

I ask you this....

What is your most wild and crazy dream for your life? 

Who is the most heart inspiring women or man that you want to be?

See we all have a dream inside our hearts...somewhere. Often our inner most dreams are hiding. Fear is blocking them from emerging and leading your life. We let fear control instead of our Hearts. Sometimes our Dreams may seem little, sometimes very big. Yet all dreams are the same, all are valid and important. It only depends on the beholder and how they feel about themselves. It depends on how we see ourselves. For Creator God see's us all thro the eyes of LOVE. God created each child of his in the same manner. We are all equal, all the same in importance. We may each be made of different ingredients  different spices, but that is what makes us unique. God has no favorites you see. Yet he does have children who are happier, those who are on track with their higher purposes, and those who have ascended to a level where they think of themselves no more and only of others and are hear on planet Earth to help HEAL and WAKE UP the PEOPLE....

Remember your Dreams. Your Earth walk. Your Destinies.

We all have a journey to take, we all have a road to walk down, and we all have the power to manifest anything in our lives. The only thing stopping us is us.... 

Sometimes our hearts stop us from believing that we deserve such incredible dreams becoming reality. Sometimes we dont think we can do it. We fear, FEAR, that we dont deserve it. Some hide from the world in the shadows. Hiding from their path for they feel Small. Hide from God as they do not want to face the TRUTH. Facing the truth will require healing. Healing comes from a place when one is ready to step off the cliff and let Creator take care of you. 

I know this as Faith.

And others often feel the opposite of small and thus walk in state of mind that they are more important than others. They live their lives not in the shadows, but wide in the open for everyone to see. They walk in Ego. Walking in anger and hate. Feeling better than others, more powerful, and in control. They dont hide in fear, they ride Fear and laugh in the face of God.... 

We are all in the power to Create our own Lives.

Haven't you heard by now the phrase.... "We are all writers of our own Scripts?"

What does that mean you ask? Well simple... You, yes YOU have the power to create anything and everything that happens in your life. We simple humans, were once not so simple. We come from Divine Beings of Light. We are Pure Light. Yet we have forgotten this, and thus have forgotten that we have the power to move our lives in any direction that we choose. We 2 Legged are so powerful that we can Create our own Realities and MANIFEST anything we desire in our own lives. That is if that desire is coming from a higher place and good for all people. We have forgotten we are pure Magic!

Each of us carries our own Medicine. Our own Teachings. Our own Songs...

Have you remembered your Song yet?

Dont worry... You will get there. I have faith in you. Creator is guiding you back home. To the center, to the Universal Heartbeat, where all is ONE.

We are the Dreamweavers. We are the Choosen Ones...

Take some time for yourself today.

Go within, inside to the depths of your heart.

Once there you can explore all corners of the universe. For God, Creator, the vast universe of Light, that all lives within side of each and everyone of us. 

My story

Virgo - Sun & Scorpio - Moon & Aries - Rising

Mayan Calender Sign (Quiche Count) - Tijax 9 - The Curendera, Doctor, & Healer

I grew up in Northern California. In the middle of Hippie Paradise. Parents who moved up north to live off the land. I was cherished. I have the most incredible parents i could think of. Yet growing up i didnt always see this.

 I was a nature child and running around searching for the wee folk,yet during the teens my view shifted from Loving the Pure Beauty of Humboldt's Mountains to yearning a modern life in the city. I was media gagged.... Pulled into the concepts and ideals of what a Modern Women should look like and how one should live in the mainstream society.

I believe TRAVEL was what cured me. What got me back onto this road of Mother Earth. 

I started travelling at 16. I left for the Czech Republic to be an exchange student for a year. Meeting so many international people changed my concepts from a small town American girl - to a Worldly young women seeking Adventure....

I decided to not go to College or University. I was a Honor Student, yet felt such an intense desire for TRAVEL that i ignored societies common views... 

I went to Ecuador for the summer after Graduating High School. Then took for Spain to be a nanny and learn Spanish. From there i traveled around Europe for a summer by Train and ended up landing back in Prague to teach English for a year. After 2 straight years in Europe, along with a girlfriend, we Flew off for INDIA for a new Adventure. I spent 5 months of adventure, parties, and self discovery, until i was finally beckoned or rather commanded to come home and visit family as it had been over 2 1/2 years. 

Yet time in Cali was kept short and i was back to South East Asia for another 7 months travelling, this time Alone on the Road... This is where my path towards Spirituality really started to open up for me. I had had Rastas since India, was totally living the Hippie Life, yet was mixed up with Spiritual Enlightenment thro Drugs and Alcohol. 

After 6 months or so i heard Mother Earth speak to me. Not in a voice, not thro words, yet an energy. She said i needed to Go Home to the AMERICAS. This was big, as i had been planning on spending the next year or 2 in China. 

But i listened to that Voice and went home to Turtle Island and really have been here since. 

My work is here. In the Americas. My vision is clear. Turtle Island is my home. This is where My People are. Where my Ancestors are. From Canada, United States, Mexico, to Guatemala here is where my work lies. With the First Nations and Ceremony. I am a medicine women. I am a healer. And a women of the Earth. 

Eagle Spirit

http://www.raincoast.org/

I woke up this morning and instead of turning on my computer right away i decided i needed to breath in some fresh, cold air. I pass thro  the kitchen,  and out into the boot room to put on my uggs, to step outside in the mornings welcoming song. I did a short walk to the north, past the greenhouse, towards the beach and then back towards the long house and onto the dock facing west. Looking right onto small Bella Bella i thought what a shame the house faced towards the neighboring island town. My thoughts extended to sadness that i would probably not see much wildlife around my new home. That morning thus far i had seen seagulls and another ocean bird on the dock and around the water. And suddenly i heard a strange sound, like a small song bird singing out to the morning. And following that noise, to a bunch of three trees right above the old, office house i see high and above perched a Bald Eagle. I just stood there in wonder. It is my third day here up in the Great North on the coastal waters of the Pacific. The first day i saw the backside of an eagle fly past and on the second day an eagle flew high over me while wondering the rocky, clammy beach. Yet today, my new neighbor had joined me for the slow sunrise on the west side of the island. I stood on the dock with binoculars in hands and spied on him up close. As i was memorized by his beauty and power i spoke a thank you prayer to Creator. I thanked the 2 winged, the Flying Nation, Father Sky, and this winged child of God for his presence and medicine. I asked for more magic to enter into my life. Magic of the old ways, of what is becoming hard to find, Magic of the Earth, of the Wild, and of Spirit. And then suddenly two more bald eagles came from the North swooping across the skies, flying together, in and out of each paths, and on towards Bella Bella. I took my binoculars out again and watched their path as they headed out of sight, but then i caught one as it slowly turned around and made back East towards me. It circled and flew past me, creating an enormous circle, a hoop. In awe i turned my attention back to the Eagle sitting high above in the tree nearby and gazed on for a while longer. I then decided to go inside for a camera, gloves, and tobacco. Outside again i tried to get a close up shot of the Eagle with my small, dingy camera. Not much luck. I know now why a big, expensive camera would be handy. I take a walk around the office house and now am standing below this mighty Spirit and make an offering of tobacco and put it up in a dead tree below him. I make my way up a little rock. In my eyes a prayer rock that is nestled nearby the house, but above all other land. Here i roll my smoke and speak my prayer to the rising sun and the 7 directions. My friend still seats above me in the cold, grey skies. At that point i go inside for a bit to nourish my grumbling belly. During that time i keep checking on my friend from the big windows in the long house and he still seats high above. After a while i go back outside and my attention is pulled towards the Northern shores where a flock of noisy crows have descended on the beach. I make my way around trees, brush, and a decaying shack to find the beach full of crows. As well small clams, that perhaps they are feasting on. At this point i am right below the group of trees that my feathered friend sits a top. I make towards a enormous, organic drift wood or rather tree that sits on the beach. There i stand as crows come and sit beside me. That is until a startling noise and shuffle above turn my attention sky ward. It appears another Eagle has come diving into this Eagles perch and chasing him off and away. I spot one of them has made it to the other side of the beach and landed among the trees. I gaze on and walk across rocks and back to the house towards the dock. I take a few last looks at this mighty one across the beach now and make towards the outhouse. When i come back my friend has once again landed back in his high perch right above the house. I smile and think and i hope this will be a long friendship. I go back inside, ending my mornings excitement  here on Denny Island and prepare for an afternoon adventure seeking wolf's at the old airport.

Full Moon - Thursday 27th of May

Full Moon May 27th

Is the world coming to an end or is it just beginning. Beginning of a new cycle of a new time. A consciousness that is awakening up all our neighbors. Soon one will walk down the street dressed in full colors of rainbow light, body art, piercing, and a canvas of art work and will not be stared at. Instead looked at as a brother, as a sister, as all one human kind. Soon we wont be stared at for being different because we will be coming together into one race at this crucial time in this very moment of life. Soon my meditations, my prayers, my positive vibrations of light will reach yours. Circles of light warriors manifesting heaven will awaken those asleep. Vibrations of peace and love cannot be darkened and overcome. We who walk on the path of light spread as our groups grow. We can reach masses of groups to open up their minds faster than darkness will ever possibly. For in a darkened space, light can be created but in a light space can darkness occur… There are world catasphores coming, they have already begun. Earthquakes, tsunamis, cyclones… They are occurring more and more ever since this age of awareness has begun to stir. Yet do not be confused, they are not created by awareness, but from darkness of humans. Global warming is not creating by the Earth, yet by the destruction humans have caused to mama earth. We are the blame, not our planet. We are the blame to the recent catastrophes this past year. Humans, Scientists, Dark Greedy beings far from light have been messing with the weather in science experiments. Trying to create a true world power of weapon… HARP Yet there are side appects. Those beings that are creating hide away for when the world comes tumbling down wont be so safe as they think. Only prayer, thought, and positive vibrations can save us now. Only thro disaster though, will most of human kind come together… I fear so. Thus I am ready for this change. For what has already begun. For the next few years of chaos. I tell my brothers and sisters to stop wasting time in daily jobs and Uni or School. Will these kinds of things prepare you for what is coming? Teach you how to live truly off the earth, just like in the beginning. To become savages, wild beings living off the land. Thanking Mama Earth for what she gives us. Killing and sacrificing animals for food. Are you ready for this? If not, you shouldn’t be eating meat. Are you ready to be one with the dirt, leaves, grasses, and sands…? And live one on one with Pacha Mama. Prepare yourselves, this is that time. The shamans and Ancients, the Wise Ones have released their Secrets, their Prophets, the possible future…So are you going to turn your back on that and go back to your daily job and emptiness. Or listen, wake up your mind and spirit to the new world that is coming.


It thunder and stormed last night just like the past five nights in a row. How strange, it is only May. The rainy season here shouldn’t start till July. A month early and shoulders shrug. Confusion is swept away and conversation ends. It is forgotten. The fact is that we are seeing changes, not just here, but all over the world. Did winter come early this year for you, or These are slight changes that most brush away, yet if you open up your eyes just a bit more, you will begin to notice the change. Notice the climate changes and think about them, if you do, you might just be more prepared. Prepared for what is to come, the change that will be much more dramatic in 2012. The signs Mama Earth are sending us with all these world chatasaphores. Tears and anger of what we have done to her and what we still are doing.


In Mexico I am jumping back and forth from such extreme opposites. I am on the road, synchronicity and faith in Pacha Mama always gives me a place to stay and food to eat. I am in a more clear state of who I am becoming and I realize what my Spirit is more comfortable with. What it needs and wants. Often I am camping, out in the open. I stopped using my tent, sleep under the stars, beside a tree, one with the earth. This is who I am. This is the natural rhythm of life of Mama Earth. I am her child, dirty, swimming in her oceans of trees, forests and animal life… And now I am in a clean house, white sheets and blankets, a bed. Kitchen, electricity, plumbing, what a strange wwoof experience. A reminder to not get drawn into luxury, habits of how humans grow up today. For I am not amongst your kind anymore, I am a Forest Fae, who loves the Earth and feels the natural rhythms of life that most have forgotten. I am becoming one with everything, with Pacha Mama.

Gibbous Moon - Saturday 22nd of May

Gibbous Moon – May 22nd

Destination: Tepoztlan (Home to Aztec Serpent God – Quetzalcoatl and alternative spiritual community)


Arrival no place to stay, yet on the street a young women comes up to me and asks if I want to camp at her place.
I spent all my money right when I arrived in a Crystal Magical Kingdom. Crystals are so magnetic; they just drew me into the store.
Thus I was without any money till the New Moon (twice a month I am trying to allow myself take out money I have saved) 10 days…
Yet when you ask for what you need, the Earth provides you it. I am learning this. Learning this more without the abundance of paper, of our concept of currency. I am a creative child of Earth. I am always making something with my hand, creating beauty. And this is how I shall travel, by selling my Artsanias – Crafts. I am digging into my roots. My gypsy trail of past is whirling in winds; in circles around my Red Road I walk here. I am not a rich American, another tourist here on vacation nor am I a European backpacker. I am an Artisan, Artist selling her makes on the road, earning something to eat and finding a sacred piece of land to sleep for free, just like it should be. I smile every time I think of myself, of who I am becoming. Are you proud of the road you walk? You should be, if not, change it. We have all the power in the world. We are the actors in our plays, we are the directors, and we are the writers. We manifest our heavens on Earth. And that is what I am doing will journeying this Beautiful, ever ending Red Road of Spirit. I see the changes within myself and I smile and breath. This is not Ego talking. This is me, knowing who I am and being proud. Who is ready for this life I ask. Who wants to join me living life day to day? Not knowing where you are going to sleep. Knowing it’s got to be free for you have no money. And asking mama earth to provide you some sacred water and nourishment to keep on journeying towards this ever ending spiral of enlightment.